BeeVomit’s blog

Anonimity is a lie.

We begin and end our lives with this suspicion,
Such confliction. It is shown in all we see.
The idea of "who is us?" "Are we truly 'we'"?
How about free? About some things, maybe,
But what defines our reality?

This next corus is, simply put,
About the path to set my foot.
Should I stand proud, or hang my head low,
As the wolf stalks a harmless young doe?
I have to eat too, what should "I" do?

This bear is clumsy, but hunger drives him.
There are several meals that would not deprive him.
To the flowing river he shall go.
On the bank he'll gather round
Berries fresh picked, by the pound.
The salmon there are tasty sweet.
Ah, it feels nice to whet my feet.

Where will you go? I do ask of you.
Will you live sampling the exhibits, live life at the zoo?
Don't get me wrong, it is quite fun,
But what always happens when the day is done?
We'll travel back home, one and the same.
Isn't there any end to the game?
We all work together, to feed the wolf pack,
So why are we always pushed to the back?
We labor for scraps. Remember that.

You ask how I know what I'm saying is true,
And think, "I'm not an ordinary animal, I'm a human being"?
I agree, but how special does that make you?
Special enough to let less other things grow?
Do you even know? Yes you are human.
I propose we remember what makes us so.

Our reason, our religion, our words and our thoughts.
Our feelings perceiving who's friend or foe.
That's called, "instinct," you know.
We have it and it shows,
No matter what "universal truths" you've been shown.

I'd like to think I've been drawn to it deeper,
Penetrating the shell of the peaceful sleeper.
Shhh! Careful. He's about to awaken,
And not so long after things shall start shaking.
Some things will start happening, all through the streets,
And the "world" we've abused will call a retreat.
A feint move thus as more people begin to trust.
We'll have power to devour those driven by lust.

The community will grow as we support ourselves,
Rising above this boiling egg shell.
As it bursts from the pressure
And splatters all over the wall,
We see now, this world will eventually fall.
Lets call back the dogs, multiply like frogs.
And I even know something that's swell.
The trees will take care of us, outside of the shell.

As an independent body, the members of this international committee (Hereafter, "Committee") stand for and act towards the reformation of the State Parks and recreation administrations of California (Hereafter, "Administration"). Whereas state commissioned bodies for past reformation have been limited to a select body of specific and biased design, the Committee may accept guidance from any viable source to assist in furthering its goal.

The goal of this Committee is ultimately to change the way the Administration manages their State Parks. It is our purpose to maintain the livelihood and further existence of every State Park in California.

Orders of Business

1. Appointing a Chair. As currently appointed Chair, I will uphold the duties of this Committee by organizing and propagating it and its goals, until (1) its purpose has been fulfilled to the favor of the majority of its members, or, (2) someone more qualified is presented and approved, assumes leadership in my stead. (*Stipulation and Alteration of rules will be discussed with the Committee before being set.)

2. Outreach to possible members via Web Sources, on-line, mail and word of mouth. Please spread the word.

3. Discussion: What are our goals? Are they reasonable? Why do we want them? Why would we need them? What is the public outcry, and how may we help?

4. Research. Look into past grievance against State- and Administration-run systems. Look to original construction of State Parks, foundations. Pull origins to front of the issue. Is the Administration doing justice to the original motive of founding the State Parks?

5. Prepare for public demonstration.

Rally: Monday, June 15, 2009, at Sam Blakeslee's office, SLO. To start at 5:00 p.m.
         Materials: Sign boards, drawing markers, Table, Chairs, Video Camera and stand, voices and concerns. We would like to get video footage of event, as well as public opinion, one by one, from concerned citizens. (Good place to gather ideas from the public)

I want you to know how I have come to understand money, or, "bonds," as is their historic term. Tragically ironic, that.

A bond, I have learned from discussions with my elders, is basically a contract for a certain amount of stored energy, to be saved or spent at a later time. It is not bad, nor good. It is entirely neutral, which means it can be used for either. This, in my mind, does not do the world justice because money, in that sense, can be used as an impartial means for all evils in the world, as long as one has enough of it. It is a catalyst for the existence and continuance of evil doings.

Conversely, money is not a means for attaining good in the world, though it can be used to provide it, to some extent. That extent is generally short-lived, giving way to truly sinful actions and wars wherever it gains influence. In my lifetime, it has not done any permanent good I can tell, except perhaps given rise to those manners of human life I hold dear to me.

Money has become a means for enslaving all manner of people across the world, including those mentioned above, and especially those who are spending away their life trying to attain more of it. I say enslavement because those who are earning it are forced to. They know very little of the world, and accept the rules enforced upon them.

What I hope they come to realize is that all the goods of the world are inherently free. They cannot have them all, in the physical sense, but in the sense of goodness, they may be more fulfilled than ever before. All they would have to sacrifice is fear, doubt, and their slavery.

It is therefor my hope and wish and desire to completely discontinue the use of stored *human* energy as a means for barter throughout the universe. Energy is free. If it weren't, we couldn't even exist.

It will happen in my lifetime. It must, or the world is doomed to war. In that sense, it must destroy itself, one way or another. It's my hope that I can survive it, though to know of it's destruction is almost good enough. Almost.

I want to live, dang it.

     I bear a lot, in mind. Get it? Actually, I want you to know that I'm in somewhat a confused state of mind, at this very moment. I'm trying to get ahead of the curve, and I'm leaving the curve behind. It's that feeling you get when you walk up a big hill, and you don't know what's on the other side, and you can still see the path you strayed from just a little ways down. But, that way isn't your goal, it's the top, and eventually, down the other side of the mountain. Now imagine what I feel ahead of me. Not people, not society, not companionship, some comraderie (in a familial sense), small community (also family), and a whole lot of hills in front of me. But still, I can consciously count, and imagine, that big town with all its food, frivolity, and creature comforts spoiling me, just 3, 5, 9 hills behind. A hundred or more may be separating me by my goal, but until I reach the half-way point, and beyond, I'll still be looking back to that town for reference.

     I've actually thought, on many occasions, of doing just that. Getting out, and just plain hoofin' it. Then I checked Google Earth, and found that there isn't anywhere in California left to go. I mean, what game is left is continuously being hunted, by rifles and SUV "sportsmen" no less. Cities abound on nearly every habitable, and some non-habitable sides and foothills of the mountains. Mountains which, may, possibly, probably, but definitely not definitely, provide a measure of still-fresh, still-clean water. Still, if I am even capable of finding food, water, and shelter, I run the great risk of getting shot out of mistaken identity or trespassing violation, or running afoul of some really peeved-off wilderness towards much of mankind, or, for that matter, some members of the illustrious man-kind really peeved-off at the wilderness. Forget it. Now, I've thought about it, and I'm tucking tail in another direction. Flying low under the radar, so to speak. I mean, radar can, sometimes, pick up a ping from a hollow mast or hull, especially a metal one when the metal is above 1 foot deep of water or so, but, really, who's going to pay heed to an old, wooden, though historically wondrous craft, when they have socialists, terrorists, and communists to worry about? Eh?

     So, anyway, back to the point. I'm trying to do what I can to survive, and that means not playing along the grapevine. I'd like to make it clearer, for your sake, so here goes. In order to survive: Stop following the curve, Stop doing what other people do, Stop waiting for things to happen, and START making things happen! It's not enough to look to what the future holds. That's giving up your right to claim your own.

     Freedom? Pah! Freedom is a curse in this country. It's a curse on anyone else, any other country, and our own. People who desire direction. It's a curse on ourselves, for knowing we have the freedom to do absolutely nothing, and get away with it on a grandiose scale! Much more, it's a curse, because to know we have a choice to follow our own path, and to have the phobic fear of doing just that, and much less, the governmental influence in our face, letting us know we can't do anything without their say-so. I know, a lot of people hearing this, and maybe even yourself, may think I'm being hypocritical. I am. I admit it. I follow the law, mostly. I tell the truth. Mostly. And, I love my country. The land, at least. I also love my people... where I can find them.

     In honesty, I really haven't done jack diddly for this place. I've had lots of ideas, but I quell at the thought of going before power-influenced people to do what I want to do. I'd much rather, as I was telling my brother last night, go out and buy my own spore-packs of oyster mushrooms, and fix up the streams on my own time, trusting to time and the natural world wanting my help and aiding it's own, than go before a committee, and fill out paperwork, and generally sit on my ass growing mold between my toes, waiting for an unsatisfactory answer from some bureaucratic do-nothings! By profession!!! The very same people may look towards themselves, and think, wait, I do things. I'm a person. You can't tell me I don't do things, and that I'm not a person...

     Well, what I'm actually, really telling you (the hypothetical, great big crowd of you's you) that being a person and doing things, like people do, is what you need to be wary of. You belong to a community, a civilization of select individuals, bred for the specific purpose of being spoiled and lazy, and working your ass into the ground in return, undernourished, and well beyond the scope of acceptability of your ancestors. And you love it! And you hate it! And you rebel against it! And then, you accept it! You live, you die, you create more life, and they go through the very same motions. And it goes on, and on, and on, like me... until you realize that it's not going to be the same forever. That you've reaped the field far more than you've sown. All the crops are gone. The water is putrid. The laundry is dirty. And your homes are melting in the heat of the sun.

     Bear in mind. It just may save you, one day.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

"It's a pretty good idea to surprise yourself with the things you can do. Makes you feel more alive." - That one girl who said it just now...

QotD: 02/10/2009

Greatness is not a destination, but a journey. What do you do for your family, career or community that you’re most proud of?

Well, simply, I dress up as a giant mouse and wave at the people as they pass by in their cars. Dogs look at me quizzically, sometimes bark at me, and old people wave or frown as I dance a jig. Children either love me or cry, and adolescents bark at me, too, thinking I'm a dog. Funny how both dogs and teenagers have the same reaction. I think it's based in fear. I got news for them, I'm a mouse. A harmless, happy, ginormous mouse.

I get paid to do this, but that's not the thing that keeps me going back. I like making people smile. And, I love the thought that I'm doing something that nobody else I know has ever done. I relish the fact that many people don't know what to make of me, especially when I know the person who is wondering who it is within the suit. 

One really cool part of the job is that I don't get to say anything. In fact, if I did say anything, I'd likely be fired. So, even if somebody tries to tell me something, I can only answer with a shake of the head, a paw wave, or a thumbs up. Today, some kid tried to get me to buy beer for him. I just turned my head and looked at him until he went away.

I dance a lot, too, especially when people are stopped at a red light and happen to look my way. Sometimes I get special looks from people, mainly older women. I'm 21 now, 6 foot, 3 inches, and 280 lbs. Personally, I think it's a great thing to see both girls my own age, as well as more experienced women getting turned on by an unknown man in a giant mouse costume, especially when you're the one within. They, too, get a kick when I start dancing.

I realize this is not a career. I get 10 bucks an hour for it, and I can usually only stay standing for 2 hours and a bit. I do it about twice a week, enough to buy my groceries while I live with my dad. I get a discount at the pet shop that employs me. I buy my lizards' crickets there, and have political and practical conversations with the ladies who run the store. On my way home, I am somewhat pleased to see people who have been walking around still out and about, not knowing that it was me in the costume waving to them not 10 minutes before. Some people get it, that I fit the dimensions, but really, I think the costume is rather slimming. Most people just don't make the connection.

I think of this job as an opportunity to act and make people happy. I love acting, but I get stage fright easily. I'm good at memorizing lines, but I freeze in front of crowds. Being a character is good for me in that I don't have to perform to any great specification. I make people happy, but I don't freeze up or feel any particular pressure during my act. Some previous acting experience I've had is making and wearing animal costumes at Halloween, like many often do, but also being a volunteer Santa Claus at the local mission. I started when I was 14 and continued doing so 5 out of the next 6 years. I haven't done it in two years, but I do enjoy the reverie as I pass the mission that time of year.

My journey of greatness is still in progress. Someday, when I'm much older, I'll look back on these happenings as truly wonderful things, just as I do now. I'll be famous by then, and some time I'll be asked what my first paid acting job was, and I'll answer, "Well, simply, I dressed up as a giant mouse and waved to people passing in their cars."

And they'll ask, simply, "What's a car?"

Thank you for reading,

BV

The message I sent California's senators was more about educating young people with and about alternative means to create and use energy, rather than spending money and continuing about it in the same way we've done so far. I played the "think of the children, think of the future" card, though I think it's about the most inane and over-used way to get a message through. I wish politicians had other buttons to press than money, power, fame and pity, but that's about all I can think of. I haven't seen a major politician yet who actually goes for the "do the right thing" thing. Even Obama's suspect. Though I'm sure they exist, otherwise how would one explain the Joey Racanos and Noah Smucklers of the world, I do not see them very often, in this country, at least.

That said, I agree. Thank you for telling me this. I didn't actually know we were 11 trillion dollars in debt. I thought it was more like 8. Not that it matters the difference, really, one's as bad as the other. I say that it's not so great a difference simply because if there's found to be a way of reversing an 8 trillion dollar debt, there's certainly going to be a way to reverse the 11 trillion dollar debt. It might just take a little longer. I admit I did ask congress to approve the Greening Stimulus Act, but for the reason of investing what moneys they want to spend in things other than futureless, consumptive means of attaining goods and energies. I'll learn a lesson from this, though, in that I shouldn't be so quick to jump to an opportunity to make a voice heard, simply because it was sent to me by "good Samaritans" in the green movement. Really, where were these guys 10, 20, 50 years ago? Oh, wait, they were being ignored, threatened, or hunted down. History has never been my strongest suit, but I do pay attention to it. The righteous and good have always been maltreated. That's why they sought the good, that's how they became the righteous.

Anyway, at this point, I'm not convinced anything at this time, from the current and future U.S. government, will serve to help the situation as it stands. It may be naive, and most certainly is, and definitely misguided, but I think the best thing that could happen is if this country declared itself bankrupt and lay itself to the mercy of the U.N. At the very least, it would save many people from violent happenings, should the depression that is upon us continue to spread and carry us downhill. Also, it may lead to indictments towards the war criminals of this day, especially those who believe themselves to be immunized by the very system they corrupted. Furthermore, giving up the country, and accepting nation-wide poverty and equal living, while a horror to millions, billions, would be a convenient way to avoid another global-scale war, but, really, I think the war is already upon us, and I am sure the spoiled people of this country will not give up their red meat and paper money. I do not think the U.S. government will give up its struggle to survive, either. Now, more than ever, ordinary people should be opening their minds to alternative possibilities, preparing themselves for what is to come. This goes especially for materialists and powermongers. A future more reminiscent of the past, of the earth, much more than sci-fi, is likely the best way to go. Some may see it as giving up, but I see it as a way out, one with a more peaceful heading. Remember the old adage "He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day." I find that it holds especially true for those living in this day, in a situation such as this.

I think, after all this fiasco with Obama succeeding his cousin, the best candidate in the presidential race would have most definitely been Ron Paul. He's the only one who had the right idea. It is quite obvious to me, now, that a smaller government would have been the best way to avoid, or fix, most of this country's problems, and in a more timely and less costly fashion. But now, with a large-government democrat in the white house, that will not be possible. I really was convinced at one time that it was the Democrats who had the best deal. Now I'm sure it's the opposite. I mean, I'm a liberal and all that, but really, a smaller, more compact, easily managed system, which deals on a more individual level, seems to be a much better path than "one size fits all". I never really liked that saying, you know. I bet you can guess why, apart from a few other reasons. I'll let you know of them another time, perhaps.

For now, Eric, please take care, and prepare for what's to come. I know I keep saying it, but I don't think I'll cease any time soon. Maybe when the future brightens up and the stars come back out, I'll give a brighter message. Whatever may happen, whatever tomorrow brings, I certainly hope to see you on the other side, healthy, wealthy, and wise, with the light of the stars reflected in your happy, shining eyes.

Daniel

Dear Senator Boxer,

   This letter I have just written to Senator Feinstein I am now sending to you, as it concerns both Senators of California, as well as any other who might lend an ear.
   I have heard through the grapevine of two senators from back east spearheading an attempt to remove the Green Schools funding from the Greening Stimulus Bill. I wish to ask you to oppose this action, vehemently, or howsoever you choose, but to make it clear that in no way shall this bill be overcome. If this is not your own wish, please listen to what I may say upon the matter.
   It is my belief, which is shared by many, that employing this action throughout the United States would help to usher in a long-overdue time of solar and alternative energies, as well as widespread education to children, our future, about the benefits of having and helping save the natural world from sure destruction, should we continue with their use as we have in past decades. With technology at an historical peak of production and discovery, and multiple new technologies becoming public each year, it would be foolish to deny their use in this way. Now, more than ever, we are obliged to teach those who would see the future unfold the importance and utility of these technologies, and the peaceful result of their widespread use. No more will there be fighting over oils and minerals. Rather, natural sources, naturally generating power for everyone, and schools to let our children see, and remember, the difference, which they may then pass onto their own in their time.
   If this bill passes, I foresee an age of prosperity for not only the United States, but the world. When peoples around the globe look to America, no longer will they see war, deceit, tyranny, and destruction, but rather, creation, openness, and the will to make things better. To make the world better. And then, as in times of the past, our country will serve as an example of what's to come, a reminder to all other war-ravaged countries with bloody histories, that there is no need for the continuance of war. With technology in gentle balance with the natural world, all good things are possible, especially, true, lasting peace.
   I hope this optimism reaches you, and that you find strength and willingness to support "green" living, technologies, and opportunities. Thank you, and,

Sincerely,
   Me (Name deleted for privacy concerns)

I cut my hair today. First time in a while, actually, perhaps the first time, this way. It didn't turn out like I wanted; a bit short on top front. My brother says it's like a mullet gone wrong. Sounds worse than it is... Now I know... patience is a virtue. I could have waited until tomorrow to get it cut, professionally, on the way to the brew supply shop for my first batch.

I kind of like my hair this way. Sure it looks a bit off, but it works better this way. I had to cut it to keep the hair out of my eyes, and guess what? There's no hair in my eyes. I'm relieved; my neck was starting to hurt trying to see around my hair. At least now I won't get hit by a car crossing the street, or, at least, I'll be able to see the car coming first.

I had nachos tonight, for Superbowl Sunday. I wish the Cardinals had won, Edge deserves that ring. Anyway, the Colts didn't go, so I'm not too broken up about the result. Even if the Cards had won, it still wouldn't have stopped the gas from coming after eating those nachos. Darn, it smarts, and pee-yooo. I know I shouldn't lavish in my own vapors, but, if I can't enjoy my own, who else will?..

I'm only doing this because I haven't written in a while.

For some reason, a woman whom I'd never met before, two days after I'd cut my hair from 12 inches down to 4 (before tonight, that is) had channeled a drawing with her left, non-dominant hand of me, thin, and with long hair (much longer than 12 inches) standing on an island with an active volcano on the next landmark in the chain. I mean, 40 or 50 miles away, across the strait or whatever it's called. Ocean? Anyway, I hope to be traveling to Hawaii in a couple years. By then my hair might just be that long. I'll be sure to keep bangs instead of having a mop like the last time. It may look a bit silly, even girly, but it has to be functional or it'll just get in the way again. I think I should have listened to my gut and had my bangs cut by the pro, instead of doing the job myself. Oh, well, let the teasing begin... I can take it... really...

Anyway, it was a good drawing, and there was a cat sticking its head out of the pack on my back. The cat I've colored gold. The pack looks like brown, crude leather. Looks like I'm wearing a tunic of canvas or cloth with a belt of twine, and leather moccasin boots. I look fit, and happy, and the smoke from the volcano to the west is blocking the sun just enough to let the stars in about 3 hours ahead of time, while still letting rays of sunlight through. It's beautiful. I wonder how she did it? Or if I'll ever be able to do something like it myself. I'll bet the leather was hunted, tanned, and worked by yours truly. Cool. I hope to find some nice berries on the path, and, eventually, a waterfall to bathe in, upstream.

(I know it's proper to say "in which to bathe" but who gives a boop, anyway?)

I guess that's good bye, for now... ohh no, here comes another one...

Darn nachos.